DAY FOUR NEWS
Winter Camp IX - 1985
The balmy southwest breezes will bring the temperatures into the 30's today under mostly cloudy skies. Snow showers possible tonight with temperatures dropping into the teens. A cooling trend will start the new year with highs tomorrow near 25 degrees.
HIGH LOW YESTERDAY: 29 20 NORMALS: 33 20 RECORD: 64 -08 PRECIPITATION: None MONTH TOTAL: 2.28 inch YEAR TOTAL: 40.33 inch
Winter campers have traditionally enjoyed large active meals with the calorie totals yesterday standing once again nearing the 5000 mark. Total caloric intake stood at 4780 calories weighing 9.1 lbs.
Members sat around the table like it was a monastery during the Silent Breakfast, hearing only the snap, crackle, and pop of the Rice Krispies.
Most participants found their mouths for the during the Blind Lunch. During this repeat meal from last year, some found the application of bread spreads to be quite difficult.
A very large 2299 calorie dinner greeted the members at the CAG funeral feast. All foods were delightfully prepared with the best portion control of any Winter Camp banquet in history.
No one (except Daha) seemed to mind a large ration of popcorn and a cold pop for the Casino Snack
Winter Camp dining will conclude today with a spectacular batch of Rand Stew at the Conglomerate lunch. No one should leave Winter Camp any leaner, as a total fare of 20348 calories weighing a whopping 37.0 lbs. will mark the total food consumption per person. The total food purchased for Winter Camp weighed just a Holbrook or so above 700 pounds.
MISSING LINK FOUND
A large stooping primate was found walking into the Beaver Creek building yesterday morning. Interestingly, the primate was capable of speech and made claim that it was the missing Roger Horn. No one has been able to verify this claim.
SAYING FOR THE DAY
No man is an island, except a CAG, which is always void of meaningful relationships.
WINTER CAMP TRIVIA
Trivia expert Mark Bollman in keeping with his unusual nature has been the poker chip expert. He has sorted the chips at the conclusion of each Winter Camp casino night.
The only Winter Camp that was planned outside of Beaver Creek was Winter Camp II. James E. West was scheduled for this event, but lack of heat in the building forced the members to the Beaver Creek where they've been ever since.
CARNIVOROUS BIRDS RETURN
After an eight year absence, carnivorous chickadees have returned to Beaver Creek. Anyone wishing to offer food to these aggressive creatures should provide chicken or other "bird food."
WOUNDED SPY CAPTURED
Criminal Mike Osvath, 23, was captured near Chippewa campsite in an attempt to escape to Jack Lord. During a shootout on the camp road, Osvath was fatally wounded by single shot from Brent Musolf.
A later pursuit of Osvath's accomplice Joe McEachren, 23, ended in a battle at the Jack Lord Building. During the battle McEachren delivered a fatal gun wound to Osvath's killer Brent Musolf. However, he was captured with a milk crate slung by bounty hunter Jeff Rand.
Criminals Matt Mittino and Jeff Hinton made successful escape to Trout Lake, evading their pursuers. A reward is being sought for the apprehension of these alleged spies.
WINTER CAMP NEWS SUSPENDS PUBLICATION
A work stoppage by employees of the Winter Camp News has forced newspaper editor Matt Mittino to suspend publication with this issue. While talks continue to solve the employee disputes, it is expected the paper will not be able to resume publication until the end of 1986.
Yesterday's funeral festivities began with the ever satisfying CAG Funeral Feast. From this fine banquet, happy participants ventured over to the Beaver Lake peninsula, where they viewed the CAG Funeral.
The Funeral was the coup-de-etat delivered to the infamous CAG. Rejoicing Winter Camp participants viewed the funeral service for the CAG. His body was placed upon a funeral pyre and burned (along with a little bit of fire excellerant) as happy attendants sang out in joy.
Also laid to rest at the funeral was the cabinet that carried the Creighton radio faithfully for many years.
The festivities ended with a funeral procession, led by Matt Mittino and his festive flag, to the Beaver Creek building.
SOCCER FEVER RUNS RAMPANT
The Snow Soccer game once again attracted a mass of participants. Nearly every Winter Camp IX attendants enjoyed a game of rough and tumble soccer. The two teams were led by Lyle Millard and Brent Musolf, both of whom did a fine job in choosing even caliber teams.
The scoring was opened by Mark Bollman, for the Musolf team. Further abuse was felt by both teams until Jeff Rand scored the first goal for the Millard team- then things really got rolling.
The Musolf team got a free kick on a hands call, but failed to score. The Millard team took advantage of this opportunity, and scored again to make the score 1-2. This lead did not last long, however. Just minutes later Mark Bollman scored his second goal of the game, tying the score at 2 all.
The game remained a stalemate for the remainder of the game. However, when a 30 minute extension was placed upon the clock, he final score was made. Lee Gardy, defending in front of the Musolf goal, kicked a shot into goalie Jeff Hinton!'s foot. The shot rebounded off Jeff's foot and into the net, making the final score Musolfs 2, Millards 3.
Popular attractions at the game were: Lee Gardy's kicked face and Matt "The Flying Jew" Mittino.
BET YOUR BRAINS OUT
Monday's activities closed with the popular Casino Night. Available to participants were a roulette table, a poker table, a craps game, and the famous Volkswagon race.
Each player received $160 in chips to begin with. From there they could play any game and try to "break the house". The evening was very successful and provided for many an opportunity to test their skill or their luck.
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