Winter Camp XV - 1991


Lee Gardy, Editor
Jeff Rand, Publisher


by Joe Hall

On the second day of Winter Camp, Mr. Steve Donohue produced a bag of multi-colored balloons and began forming various things. There was a tail for Den, and Joe received a rapunzel hat with matching bouquet for taunting Tom about his hair. Then, Joe was made to wear a mosquito-like insectoid type outfit and buzz around Beaver Creek. Some of the less intelligent campers provoked him into a stinging frenzy. Dan Bollman followed this by leaping, jumping, bounding, bouncing, and generally frolicking while screaming, scratching, and picking edible morsels from Ricky Greenwell's hair. After the dust settled, there arose a single pregnant poodle, and it was good.


by Michael Jon Osvath

In other years we have proven ourselves to have the ability to accomplish a great deal of work in little time. For many years we have amazed the camp ranger. This year was much the same as previous years. Several projects were accomplished, as opposed to one large project:

  • Painting of the inside walls of the new shop wing.
  • Clearing an area for a new corral.
  • Moving a large amount of USDA food from the new barn to the kitchen.
  • Sorted and folded tents left from summer staff.
  • Cleaned and sorted the new barn.

So much work was done that one of the campmaster staff was complaining that we were doing too much work. He could not keep up with us. Thank you all for a fine job.


by Brian Bumgardner

David Woods and Brian Bumgardner were the candidates. The ceremony was held on the other side of the lake. It was a long walk and a dark one. Kitchkinet (Dan Bollman) was our guide. When we got to the place, the trail was lit up.

There was a fire and a half circle of Bunsen burners. Nutiket (John Howey) was the guide of the lodge. Meteu (Steve Donohue) was the medicine man. Allowat Sakima (Jeff Rand) was the chief.

It was a nice ceremony, and the candidates made it.

Congratulations guys!


by Josh Davis

Little OzziesCharles pizza is the best pizza around. It's fast, it's cheap, it's easy, just like Little OzzieCharles, and no one leaves Little OzzieCharles unsatisfied.

You may be asking yourself "How good is it?" After eating just four bites Josh Davis said "Little OzzieCharles, this pizza is so good, if I eat another bite I'll puke."


by Aaron Prunkard

Josh Davis, John Howey, and Jeff Rand were our cookie chefs for this fun-filled event. Self abuse and degradation were in the air as boys and men alike prostrated themselves before the "Three J's" hoping for a morsel of a sugar cookie. Even the mighty Beast relented and knocked his head against a bench hoping for a scrap. John Howey was particularly ruthless and did not let go of his cookies easily.

The real fun began when a pan of cookies was tossed onto a table. The ensuing feeding frenzy would have put a Jaws family reunion to shame as Arrowmen leaped on the pan. In all, a swell time was had by all.


by Dan Hammon

It was a rough battle for both teams. Team 'A' consisted of Steve Donohue, Dan Bollman, Mark Bollman, Brian Bumgardner, Joe Hall, Josh Davis, John Howey, Ron Donohue, and Matt Davis. Team 'Z' consisted of Aaron Prunkard, Lee Gardy, Brian Mann, Tom Ray, Lou Pezet, Dan Hammon, Ricky Greenwell, Mike Osvath, Dave Woods and Jeff Rand.

Team 'A' scored the first point by Dan Bollman. Only one point was scored for team 'Z', scored by Lee Gardy. Matt Davis is given credit for the game winning point and the pain in Mike Osvath's groin.


by Roger Dale Horn

Although many of the Winter Camp events are traditional favorites, enjoyed year after year, the search for excellence in new events is unceasing. One such idea was tested recently by two Arrowmen on Beaver Lake - Ice Golf! The game required only one dented golf ball and a cattail to serve as the hole marker. The ice surface presented various challenges including "The Rough", "snow pits", and the unpredictable fairway slopes.

"Innovation is the secret to greatness."


by Aaron Prunkard

Josh Davis is responsible for creating the "Winter Camp XV Soundtrack", a project that may well prove to be a new Winter Camp tradition. The selection of songs is diverse, and represents the events and people at this year's camp. Weird Al Yankovic's "Happy Birthday" was included to commemorate the births of Mark Bollman and Lou Pezet. Other selections include "The Beast's Song", "Ozzie's Song", "Life Under the Lake", "At the Bollman House", and of course Alice Cooper's "We're All Crazy" was selected as the Winter Camp XV theme song.

Josh did a first rate job of selecting and dubbing the songs and will be selling copies for $2.00 each. You can receive a free copy if you supply a blank 90 minute tape. The soundtrack is well worth getting your hands on and will undoubtedly evoke a smile when you remember the events represented by the songs.


by Ricky Greenwell

The joy of victory or the agony of defeat, is this what Battle Chess is about? Could it be the physical or mental challenges one has to take while playing? Finally, is it the skill and strategy that goes into each move? The answer is yes to all of these questions.

The final score was one to one. You heard it right, no tie breaker. It could have been the physical challenge. Any questions about the physical challenge, ask the two people who know it best, Steve Donohue and Dave Woods. This year's mental challenge was Winter Camp history from Mark Bollman, but the most memorable moment was Lee Gardy and Ron Donohue facing it off in the Battle Circle.


by Matt Davis

The nets were erected and Winter Camp XV officially opened with a truly not so memorable four-way snow volleyball tournament.

The first game had teams determined by birth month, pitted against one another in quasi-civilized battle for early Winter Camp supremacy. The "Winter Months" team, led by 6 ft. 8 in. (in his dreams) star defensive spiker from Southgate High, Brian Bumgardner, bounced to a handsome win.

For game two, the Vigil members were separate into two groups, based upon whether one sealed his Brotherhood during the plowing or harvesting season. Rumor has it that Mark Bollman lied, so as not to be split from his little teammate from the previous game.

Winter Camp Trivia

From the previous issue:

  • Why did Winter Camp participants hike to the Last Ceremony Site at Winter Camp I?
    As part of the Blind Hike.
  • For your perusal over the next 11.4 months:

    1. What were Mike Osvath's inspirational words before the Winter Camp Future Olympics at WC XV?
    2. Who gave a bird a ride partway to WC XV?
    3. How many Nintendo Game Boys appeared at WC XV?
    4. What adjustment must be made to change a clock from Eastern Standard Time to Winter Camp Savings Time?
    5. Which role-playing game saw frequent use at WC XV?
    6. Who or what appeared on the highest denomination of Winter currency ever issued?
    7. Who regularly practiced Winter Camp law in a 3-piece suit?
    8. Who were the three people involved in liberating the objective from Jeff Rand's guardianship at WC VIII?
    9. During the predictions following Winter Camp XI, who was the consensus choice to win the 1988 presidential election?
    10. Who paid the $22.22 fee for WC VIII in pennies?

    For the answers ... See you at Winter Camp XVI!


    by John Howey

    This year a new game was introduced to Winter Campers. The campers were divided into two teams: the cuddly peace-loving prey and the vicious flesh-eating predators. They prey were further divided into young and adults. The adults established a nest for the near-helpless young. The adults then set out in search of food -- 100 (way too many) rocks of at least the one pound variety. The adult prey soon found ozone destroying foam cups to provide as much sustenance as 25 rocks. The predators were for the most part inefficient as only one prey was actually preyed upon, and food for the young was easily gathered. Several adult prey were extremely successful in getting food. Tom Ray and Brian Bumgardner raised Dan Bollman to an adult. Two other young were raised to adults, John Howey and The Beast. Because more young grew up than the predators killed, the cuddly prey won the game.


    by Mark Bollman

    The second edition of the Winter Camp Future Olympics was held on Monday, December 30, 1991. Future plans call for this event to be revived every five years, in order that campers may compare their performances as time goes by.

    Scores this year were decidedly down from 1990, as only champion John Howey broke the semi-major 400 point barrier. This score was topped by six Arrowmen last year.

    The results, with scores out of a possible 600:

    Athlete 1991 1990
    1. John Howey 428 412
    2. Brian Bumgardner 361
    3. Tom Ray 353 405
    4. Joe Hall 346
    5. Ricky Greenwell 327 342
    6. Mark Bollman 325 401
    7. Jeff Rand 301 301
    8. Dave Woods 292 281
    9. Lou Pezet 235 265
    10. Steve Donohue 206 231
    11. Ron Donohue 187 212
    12. Dan Hammon 177
    13. Brian Mann 167
    14. Josh Davis 143
    15. Mike Osvath 83 66

    Withdrew from competition: Lee Gardy, Aaron Prunkard, and Matt Davis

    Winners of specific events were: John Howey, long jump; Brian Bumgardner, pushups and situps; Tom Ray, 60 yard dash; Ricky Greenwell, vertical leap; and Ron Donohue, shotput.

    See you at Winter Camp XX for the next installment of the Winter Camp Future Olympics.


    by Steve Donohue

    This year has seen the addition of the long needed Continental Breakfast. Rather than force Arrowmen to arise early and slave over a hot stove to prepare a complex and often under-appreciated breakfast, this year's leadership team acted on a suggestion made by Douglas R. Wilson and instituted an optional breakfast. The new breakfast consists primarily of foods like cold cereal, ready-made muffins, and bagels. It also offers more complex options, like eggs and pancakes, for Arrowmen with a little more morning initiative.

    Overall, the breakfast has proved to be quite successful, and numerous Arrowmen have availed themselves of this low impact alternative, while others have opted to enjoy some additional rest.


    Owing to the shortness of the days at Winter Camp and the extended hours some of our members keep, it was decided that we should institute a system to increase the length of the day. When appeals to have the sun stay up longer failed, resourceful Arrowmen instead opted to change the clock and depart from Eastern Standard Time which normally prevails over Winter Camp.

    The clocks were set ahead by 77 minutes, in honor of the year that Winter Camp was first held. This proved, with few exceptions, to be a very useful change. Because of it, we were able to complete the trebuchet during the day. Most Arrowmen appear to have suffered little ill-effect from the change.


    At last year's Winter Camp, Mr. Rand challenged Steve Donohue to go one year without drinking any pop (soda). At Winter Camp XV, Mr. Rand was forced cough up a buck at the meeting of the Winter Camp Future Society when he was unable to produce anyone who had seen Mr. Donohue consume a pop. Steve said he might like to go another year "just for kicks."


    by Achewen Gentgeen Miecheken

    The planned government system of Paranoia really didn't occur due to the Mega-whoops! error of misallocated resources. High programmer Steve Donohue has promised the program will be completed and ready for use by the end of January. (Real helpful for Winter XV, Steve.)


    Planning for Winter Camp XVI is already under way! Joe Hall announced on December 30, 1991 at approximately 11:50 p.m. that he would be serving as the youth leader for Winter Camp XVI. Immediately following his announcement, Joe explained that "he would be running it, not some stupid computer." Thus far, it is not known who will be serving as adult adviser, although it is rumored that Steve "Play" Donohue has declared that he will not be assuming the role again. At this point, Joe is accepting names of potential candidates for adviser and will probably select one by mid 1992.


    A timely purchase of a race track provided much entertainment for Winter Campers of all ages. The race track featured two cars: a black Camaro and silver Thunderbird, both with working lights. Several races were held, successfully draining a set of batteries. After many heats the silver T-Bird was deemed faster, and the inside track also had a slight advantage. Track jumping, tunnels, and night racing were also made to enrich the racing experience. These impromptu unusual events helped embellish Winter Camp for everyone.


    by Steve Donohue

    The Chevy Owners Group (a vital COG in Winter Camp) is pleased to announce that although its members towed two Fords and a Chrysler, not a single Chevy was found stuck in the snow. When asked about this remarkable coincidence, a spokesman for the group said "Well, you'd think after all those trips up and down the face people would wise up, but then again maybe not."

    Ron Donohue, principle tower of the group, was in rare form as he gleefully towed several cars (and trucks) to safety. John Howey, another member, observed that, "Those straps look like a lot of fun. I think I'll get a set."

    And for all you Ford and Chrysler owners out there, Don't worry. COG promises to be back next year, and they won't laugh so hard next time.

    EDITOR'S NOTE:The editors know of at least one "experienced" Chrysler that made it out of D-A without incident.


    Temperatures were actually quite moderate, ranging from a low of 20 degrees to a high of 37 degrees. Although snow cover was maintained during the duration of Winter Camp, temperatures averaged 3 degrees above the Winter Camp norm.

    Precipitation came during a single storm on December 29. The storm started during the night as rain and sleet, before turning to snow. About three inches of new snow were added to the 2-3 inches already on the ground.

    Daily weather data is given below:

    Date High Low Prec.
    12/27/91 37 23 0.00
    12/28/91 35 20 0.00
    12/29/91 35 28 0.40
    12/30/91 33 23 0.00
    12/31/91 32 25 Trace


    by Jeff Rand

    The world's largest trebuchet, found in Wales, has been used to launch a number of unusual objects. This exquisite siege weapon, which cost $20,000 to construct, stands four stories tall. Repeated tests with pianos and hogs demonstrated that hogs (already deceased) could be tossed with much greater distance and accuracy than the lighter pianos. Physicists are at a loss to explain this phenomenon, but one could only imagine the impact a pig might have on the Beaver Creek Building after a flight across the lake.


    After several years of near constant harassment, the official Winter Camp blindfolds received their first washing. The blindfolds were originally constructed for a campout conducted by the South Parks District Eagle Corps of Honor at Clearwater Cabin on November 29 - December 1, 1974. (On December 1, 1974 Detroit received its greatest recorded snowfall.) They found a permanent purpose during Winter Camp I and have been with us ever since.

    Now, all blindfold users can be assured that the utmost in blindfold sanitation will be maintained for years to come. The next blindfold washing is scheduled for January 13, 2007.


    The 23 Arrowmen who have attended all or part of Winter Camp XV, join 81 others who have made this annual escape to adventure. Of significant note is the participation of Brian Mann. Besides being the first Winter Camper from the Huron District, Brian was not yet born when the bread dough was rising at Winter Camp I. Truly, Winter Camp has begun "the next generation."

    Some Campers make only a single visit to Winter Camp, but most will return again. The following table illustrates the return rates of new participants at the various Winter Camps:

    Camp New Return
    I 6 83%
    II 7 100%
    III 13 46%
    IV 11 55%
    V 9 77%
    VI 5 0%
    VII 8 25%
    VIII 6 83%
    IX 10 60%
    X 4 25%
    XI 6 50%
    XII 8 75%
    XIII 4 100%
    XIV 1 100%
    XV 6
    Total 104 60%
    The return rate after 10 years is 22%.


    by Eci Vres

    Two mice where re-wiring an elephant. I asked them what they were doing. The one with a hole in his middle left leg responded, "An ammonia volcano on Titan last summer was followed by the closing of the last drive-in movie theater in New Jersey."

    Just then, a Klingon drove his pentacycle out of my transparent tape dispenser looking for a granite rock with which to temper copper. I tried to stop him, but realized he was in a different time phase and he passed right through my plastic head. Fortunately, I was also next door and caught him with a postage stamp.

    Then, the universe ceased its expansion and I found myself with two mice unwiring an elephant, before I went inside my mother.

    Winter Camp XVI is just around the corner. Your ideas are welcome!

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