The world curves into itself and all that is outside is null and void for the five days that end each calendar year. Within this sphere called Winter Camp there exist many interests and talents. This publication seeks to illustrate some of the methods that the inhabitants of this universe use to categorize the world around and within them.
This original work was published by the Winter Camp Press in 1990 and is Copyright (C) 1990 by the editors, Jeffrey Rand and Douglas Wilson.
Winter Camp Shopping Incidents
- Special checkout line to receive discount for WCIII.
- Doug Wilson visits to cooler to make grocer's choice of two perfect heads of lettuce for 25 cents at WCIII
- Epileptic seizure during shopping for WCIV.
- Chatham employees accuse Winter Campers of shoplifting and receive subsequent lecture and embarrassment at WCIV.
- Search for watermelons in December for WCV.
- Seven members purchase their personal limit of two eight packs of pop on sale by "letting it ride" as the change never left the checkout line while they followed each other in line. (WCXII)
- Mr. Wilson thought to be miser treated the shoppers to Frosties at Wendys during the WCXII purchases.
- Jeff Rand pushed a shopping cart with sufficient force that it traveled 40 yards, made a left turn and entered quite properly a single width cart corral. (WCXII)
Classes of Dining
by Jeff Rand
- Restaurant with table service, cloth table cloth and napkins, check handled at table using a small platter, and cocktails or wine list available.
- Restaurant with table service. Includes banquets.
- Carry out with counter service or drive-in.
- Grill that cooks food in front of you. Specializes in grease and a hamburger deluxe.
- Family style sit down dinner. Includes home cooked and potluck.
- Individual home feeding. Includes most snacking activities.
- Standard outdoor cooking. Includes picnics.
- Backpacking meals where all food is carried.
- Outdoor survival foraging. This may include fishing and hunting when the meal is eaten on the spot.
- Consuming items not normally considered food such as rotten garbage or human flesh.
Unique Dining Establishments
Compiled by Jeff Rand & Doug Wilson
- Turkey Roost, Kawkawlin, Michigan
- This pink establishment printed a 1,000,000 place mats in the 1960's still in use and is noted for always having your turkey dinner at your table before you finish your business in the rest room even simple liquid deposition.
- Pechin's Cafeteria, Pechin Dunbar, Pennsylvania
- This fine establishment has been recognized by the National Enquirer as being the cheapest. Even in 1990, a hamburger cost 19 cents and you could feed four people dinner for $2.54. Pechin's takes the cake on Mondays with its senior citizen discount meals are free. The interior and exterior of this place demonstrate a wide range of architectural wonders including a dentist's door, numerous odd tiles on the floor and many unmatched tables and chairs.
- Paradise Diner, Paradise, Michigan
- Before being torn down this restaurant maintained a four foot high door to the rest room. Inside there was stall but you couldn't fit your legs and close the door at the same time.
- Lily's, Greenwood, South Carolina
- Maintains a menu of two items. You are expected to drink ice tea.
- Mexican restaurant, Phoenix, Arizona
- Serves meals outdoors but to keep patrons cool they are sprayed with an extremely fine mist that evaporates immediately.
- Skinny Dick's, Nenana, Alaska
- Restaurants are not plentiful on Alaska highways, thus they are often listed on the maps. This "restaurant" serves stale candy and that's all.
- Restaurant, Mile 156.2, Parks Highway, Alaska
- You might enjoy watching color satellite television during your meal, but must go outdoors to the outhouse to defecate.
- Fiddles, Brownsville, Pennsylvania
- This place has not changed for 50 years and features a soda fountain in the building that sits underneath a bridge.
- Roscommon Restaurant, Roscommon, Michigan
- You must grab objects for balance as the entire restaurant slopes about 15 degrees.
- Mountain Diner, Ashford Washington
- The highlight here is a quarter being used to fix a hole in the counter. No rest room, no customers, and the words to the song "Grandma's in the Cellar" fit this establishment.
- Little Ozzie's Pizza
- Little Ozzie opens his restaurant only one day each year and requires customers to provide their weight before being served.
Compiled by Doug Wilson
- Scotch box for re-using charcoal
- Squawker to indicate car is speeding
- Inflatable bucket
- Folding cup which doubles as a mirror
- Suicide knob fits on steering wheel and is used to make sharp turns
- Lantern on a post
- Cane/seat used to hike and sit
- Milk cup with special freezer insert to keep milk extremely cold
- Inflatable canoe
- Solar cigarette lighter
- Armadillo shaped tent had canvas and nylon versions
- Thermarest mattress - had his before they were invented
Famous Oatley Sayings
Compiled by Jeff Rand & Doug Wilson
- Yes, very good
- Fill it up with Sunoco
- Quick Harold the bucket, they're going to dump it
- Boys, boys
- Get off of him, get off of him
- Bobby, Bobby its time to get your uniform on
- You have to get your caffeine somewhere
- Sean Bumgardner
- Gary Allen
- Dwayne Forsythe
- Lou Pezet
- Mike Lowry
"Famous" Winter Camp Songs
- The Police "Sychronicity"
- Winter Camp Chorus "The CAG Funeral Song"
- Gypsy Guerilla Band "Shame on You"
- Winter Campers "What Shall we do with the Drunken Shrubman"
- "The Posthorn Gallop"
Swell Gadgets at Winter Camp
- Wilson spark machine
- Rand portable shelves
- Wilson florescent lamp
- Ranger detection system
- Rand/Wilson latrine system
Meals that will Probably Never Happen
- Balloon Meal
- Communal Straw
- Willie Wonka Meal
- Autotrophic Meal
- Automated Breakfast
Best Meals at Winter Camp
- Last Breakfast, Winter Camp XI
- Little Ozzie's Pizza, Winter Camp XIII
- Seven Bro's Banquet, Winter Camp VI
- Salute to the States Banquet, Winter Camp XII
- 100 Course Banquet, Winter Camp III
Activities that haven't been Missed
- Now Feel this...
- Grid Golf
- Pie Fight
- Spit or Swallow?
- San Francisco Lifestyles Awareness Day
Winter Campers Whose Current Whereabouts are Unknown
- Al Herster
- Doug Stone
- Rick Wright
- Tom Achatz
- Tom Conroy
Lodge Chiefs Who've Attended Winter Camp
- Steve Pejuan
- R. Lee Gardy
- Jeff Rand
- Roger Horn
- Jay Bottorof
- Josh Davis
Best Murders at Winter Camp
- Mike Osvath suicides with electric cable
- John Ferencz rolls a grenade into the latrine to kill Doug Wilson
- Keith Kuzala and Rodney Gilmer are poisoned with cyanide gas
- Mike Osvath is bludgeoned to death with Jeff Rand's hammer
- The Beast plunges his hand into the CAG to remove his heart and laughs merrily as it slowly stops beating
Memorable Pre-Camp Events
- Jeff Rand and Doug Wilson create the original latrine monitoring system
- The ranger detection system is installed and it works
- Six cars arrive with six passengers
- Pre-campers get several free trees at Builder's Square
- Mike Osvath and the Beast are misled into believing it is morning at 4:00 am. during Winter Camp XII
by Jeff Rand
- Treasure Oak
- Few people even know of this old campsite in Beaver Creek. The outhouse, although dilapidated, has served more than one emergency. It can be found on the hill above the Old Beaver Creek firebowl.
- Charles Howell Fire Road
- A fence defines this less than private privy near the site of the first candle arrow used by the then South Parks Chapter.
- Silver Lake Scout Camp:
- The outhouse itself is not significant, but rather the rescue mission that occurred there in June, 1973. Harold Oatley launched a major effort to retrieve a flashlight that had fallen in this former Scout camp latrine.
- Camp Muir - Rainier Mountaineering, Inc.
- This is a private outhouse at 10,000 ft. up Mt. Rainier.
- Camp Muir - Public:
- Meant to work by solar decomposition, this latrine is a $60,000 blunder.
- Mt. Whitney, California
- The solar method works on the western slopes of Mt. Whitney, but no urinating is permitted in the outhouse.
- Henry's Fork, Utah:
- This outhouse is the latest in bomb shelter technology used in National Forest Service privies.
- Blackhawk, Camp Conestoga, Pennsylvania
- To this latrine belongs the distinction of smelliest.
- Blackhawk, Owassipe Scout Reservation, Michigan
- No flush toilets, but a shower is located in the latrine.
- Beaver Creek
- What other latrine in the Universe has a computerized toilet paper dispenser?
State Residences of Winter Campers
Compiled by Jeff Rand
- New Jersey
- New York
- North Carolina
- South Carolina
Favorite Computer Games
Most Memorable Injuries/Sicknesses at Camp
- Roger Horn nearly loses an eye during Capture the Objective
- Paul Duran mysteriously cracks knee open
- Dan Bollman has mouth taped to cure laryngitis
- Steve Donohue falls and still has bump at next Winter Camp
- Mike Osvath felled by lethal "beef fizz"
Quietest Winter Campers
- Rick Callison
- John Ferencz
- Joe McEachren
- Ron Wiseman
- Craig Droste
Ex-campers Likely to be in Jail
- Mike Perez
- Rick Wright
- Chris Terry
- William Harper, Jr.
- Tom Achatz
Top Ten Meal Themes (based on times used)
- 1. (tie) Conglomerate Lunch
- The quintessential Winter Camp meal, this is the traditional luncheon on December 31. It had been known as the Survival Lunch at Winter Camps II and III, before that name was appropriated for a planned outdoor cooking experience (which met with mixed results) at Winter Camp IV. The main dish at this lunch is, of course, Rand Stew, a concoction including leftovers from many previous Winter Camp meals. The history of this dish has been recorded in Origins and need not be repeated here. Apples traditionally accompany this fare, along with any food that hasn't yet been eaten at camp.
- 1. (tie) Pizza Smorgasbord
- Another certified Winter Camp classic, this meal has also undergone name changes. Originally, the feast was served at dinner, where "Pizza Smorgasbord" was an appropriate name as pizzas were not made to individual specifications. As it grew more and more intricate, it evolved into the Anti-Obedience Snack (a name previously used for a junk-food snack) and moved to the evening hours. Mike Osvath took control at Winter Camp VII, and Little Ozzie's Pizza was born. With its motto of "Good Food--Good Pizza" and its unique requirement that Arrowmen weigh in or estimate their weight on their order form when made-to-order pizza was introduced at Winter Camp VIII, a new set of traditions was created. Over time, Mike's name remained at the head of the Winter Camp pizza experience while others moved in for actual pizza creation duties. Mark Bollman® was perhaps the most active pizza chef, and when Mike failed to attend Winter Camp XVII, he touched off a new pizza war by taking over the Little Ozzie's operation a nd renaming it Bollmano's Pizza. The tradition of soliciting patrons' weights continued, but the motto became "The Finest Italian Cuisine In The Wilderness". Innovative toppings have recently become a component of the Winter Camp pizza experience. Part of this emergence may be attributed to the twisted mind of several past Winter Camp pizza chefs and consumers, and part to a line from the Winter Camp Food Book: "Leftovers may be used to enhance available toppings.". This admonition has truly been taken to heart. Unusual toppings have included pineapple, Orange slices, Nerds candy, Spaghetti,
An additional twist in this saga developed on Day 4 of Winter Camp XVII, when it was decided to forgo the planned International Smorgasbord in favor of a potluck meal using the food on hand. As the available food included a fair amount of pizza ingredients, Doug Wilson chose to return to earlier days and include an assortment of pizzas--served smorgasbord style--on the evening's bill of fare. The implications of this meal--dubbed the "Last Chance Potluck" with a veiled reference to the Conglomerate Lunch by one observer--are as yet uncertain
- 3. Caveman Dinner
- As much a Winter Camp tradition as the Conglomerate Lunch, this meal has only been missed once--at Winter Camp III--since meal themes were introduced. It is best known for its minimalist approach to dining--as Winter Camp slips for an evening into caveman emulation mode, all trappings of modernity are discarded. Eating utensils? Gone--although in deference to minimal hygiene standards, serving utensils and drinking vessels are employed. As the evening's menu includes spaghetti, garlic bread, salad, and chocolate pudding, this does indeed present a challenge. Electric lighting? None--flaming oil has, on occasion, provided some illumination. Language? Nothing intelligible. Mike Osvath is known for his willingness to serve as a model caveman for the rest of the group, and numerous Arrowmen have followed his lead in exhibiting primitive behavior. On occasion, this temporal regression has led to a bit of combat, although food fights are not scheduled for the evening. The activity which does go along with the Caveman Dinner is a massive cleanup effort (invariably necessary) in which all hands participate.
- 4. Last Breakfast
- This meal provides high-quality omelettes and appropriate fixings on December 31, and thus it is seen that "Last Breakfast" refers to the calendar year. It was the Last Breakfast of the decade at Winter Camps IV and XIV, and all Winter Campers can count on enjoying it as the Last Breakfast of the millennium at Winter Camp XXIV. As an additional benefit, the omelette ingredients frequently allow the stock of leftovers to be drawn down in order that the Conglomerate Lunch will be able to work with a manageable amount of food.
- 5. (tie) Oakes Lunch
- Until fairly recently, this meal served to kick off Winter Camp on Day One. A simple meal of chicken noodle soup and cold cut sandwiches, it traces its origins to Allen Park's Troop 1058, where this meal was commonly served during Winter Camp's formative years; and is named for Michael A. Oakes, Scoutmaster of that troop during the mid- to late 1970's. Oddly enough, he never attended Winter Camp--the only namesake of a Winter Camp meal never to make an appearance.
- 5. (tie) Oatley Breakfast
- A tribute to Harold Oatley, this is the only Winter Camp meal where Scout uniforms are currently customary. (Uniforms were required for certain past banquet themes, but special costuming has largely replaced them.) The menu is a low-sugar, high-nutrient bill of fare generally including oatmeal, grapefruit juice, milk, and plain doughnuts.
- 7. Casino Snack
- Served, in the past, on the last night of camp in conjunction with Casino Night festivities. This is a low-impact meal, with no significant effort required behind that necessary to pop popcorn. Assorted munchies and soft drinks--which have at times included some rather curious-looking sherbet punches--round out the menu.
- 8. (tie) Continental Breakfast
- Number eight with a bullet, actually. As breakfast reform beginning at Winter Camp XV has led to this meal appearing more than once at each subsequent Winter Camp, observers confidently predict that it will someday take the overall lead. A continental breakfast was first served at Winter Camp X, but the idea was more fully embraced following Winter Camp XIV, when Doug Wilson observed that he never woke up hungry at Winter Camp. This revelation--which many agreed with--coupled with some difficulty in getting people to turn out to cook or eat a complex morning meal led to the adoption of two continental breakfasts at Winter Camp XV and XVI, and three at Winter Camp XVII. A substantial breakfast is still served on December 31 (the Last Breakfast; see #4 above) and on the morning of the service project, but on the other two mornings, it is a much more casual approach to feeding which begins the day.
- 8. (tie) Gruesome Snack
- A classic from the earliest days of Winter Camp and last served at Winter Camp IX, this meal has been served in a pair of formats. In the more usual approach, fairly normal food is served, but the creative use of food coloring and other culinary adulterants gives it a strange appearance. Oddly colored popcorn and powdered soft drinks have been served regularly. The second model employs genuinely gruesome food and the resourcefulness of Jeff Rand to provide a decidedly unusual dining experience. Perhaps the most famous excursion into macabre eating occurred at Winter Camp VIII, when pig testicles were prepared and served to several adventurous campers. No one is reported to have suffered any ill effects--indeed, Dan Bollman reported that the mental barrier is a larger impediment to successful eating than any concerns of taste or safety. Ill effects from this snack did, however, fell Mike Osvath at Winter Camp VII. The culprit was beef fizz, a curious beverage made from beef bouillon, 7-Up®, and lemon juice. While not explicitly planned for the snack that year, the recipe was discovered in a cookbook of 7-Up® dishes and, since the ingredients were already on hand, added to the menu. The results, needless to say, argue against its reappearance.
- 10. (tie) Electric Lunch
- While nearly every Winter Camp meal may be described as an impressive feat of culinary engineering, this one wins especially high honors for innovation. Cleanup is at a minimum after this meal, as the main course is prepared by electrocution. Hot dogs are impaled on nails, and an electric current passed through them cooks lunch from the inside out. The standard issue Winter Camp hot dog cooker is a board with two parallel rows of nails pointing upward. Underneath the board one connects a wire to the nails and runs it to an outlet. At Winter Camp VI, this mechanism was modified slightly, and the meal was cooked by stringing the necessary apparatus along the kitchen wall.
- 10. Hot Potato Lunch
- A recent arriviste on the Winter Camp food scene, this activity debuted at Winter Camp IX and has since become a new favorite. At this meal, the menu is secondary to the method of consumption. Arrowmen eat normally while passing a potato from person to person around their table. (At Winter Camp IX, these potatoes were microwaved, but they tended to fall apart too easily.) On an audible signal; which has at times been provided by a TRS-80 computer, a buzzer from the game Taboo®, and a battery-operated burping device; the person possessing the potato must cease eating (he is, however, allowed to swallow anything in his mouth) until the next tone is heard.
Five Favorite Days of the Year
- December 27
- December 28
- December 29
- December 30
- December 31
205 Cities Named After Winter Campers
Allen,KS 66833 Allen,WA 98232 Allen,TX 75002 Allen,SD 57714 Allen,OK 74825 Allen,NE 68710 Allen,MI 49227 Allen,KY 41601 Allen,AL 36419 Allen,MD 21810 Blain,PA 17006 Booth,AL 36008 Booth,WV 26522 Britton,MI 49229 Caldwell,ID 83605 Caldwell,KS 67022 Caldwell,NJ 7007 Caldwell,TX 77836 Caldwell,WV 24925 Caldwell,AR 72322 Calhoun,KY 42327 Calhoun,TN 37309 Calhoun,LA 71225 Calhoun,GA 30701 Calhoun,AL 36012 Calhoun,MO 65323 Calhoun,IL 62419 Callison,SC 29820 Chapman,NE 68827 Chapman,KS 67431 Chapman,AL 36015 Clark,CO 80428 Clark,MO 65243 Clark,NJ 7066 Clark,PA 16113 Clark,SD 57225 Conroy,IA 52220 Cook,NE 68329 Davis,OK 73030 Davis,WV 26260 Davis,SD 57021 Davis,IL 61019 Davis,CA 95616 Davis,NC 28524 Draper,UT 84020 Draper,SD 57531 Draper,NC 27241 Draper,VA 24324 Dumas,MS 38625 Dumas,TX 79029 Dumas,AR 71639 Duran,NM 88319 Forsyth,GA 31029 Forsyth,IL 62535 Forsyth,MO 65653 Forsyth,MT 59327 Fults,IL 62244 George,IA 51237 George,NC 27833 George,WA 98824 Gilmer,WV 26350 Hall,MD 21073 Hall,MT 59837 Hall,NY 14463 Hammon,OK 73650 Hancock,IA 51536 Hancock,WV 25411 Hancock,WI 54943 Hancock,VT 5748 Hancock,NY 13783 Hancock,NH 3449 Hancock,MN 56244 Hancock,MI 49930 Hancock,MD 21750 Hancock,ME 4640 Harper,IA 52231 Harper,KS 67058 Harper,KY 41440 Harper,OR 97906 Harper,TX 78631 Harper,WV 25851 Harvey,AR 72841 Harvey,IA 50119 Harvey,IL 60426 Harvey,LA 70058 Harvey,WV 25852 Hill,NH 3243 Hinton,IA 51024 Hinton,WV 25951 Hinton,VA 22831 Hinton,OK 73047 Holbrook,NY 11741 Holbrook,NE 68948 Holbrook,PA 15341 Holbrook,ID 83243 Holbrook,AZ 86025 Holbrook,MA 2343 Howey in the Hills,FL 32737 Hunt,AR 72844 Hunt,NY 14846 Hunt,TX 78024 Johnson,NY 10933 Johnson,AR 72741 Johnson,KS 67855 Johnson,MN 56250 Johnson,NE 68378 Kennedy,AL 35574 Kennedy,MN 56733 Kennedy,NY 14747 Lambert,MS 38643 Lambert,MT 59243 Lee,FL 32059 Lee,IL 60530 Lee,MA 1238 Lee,ME 4455 Lee,NH 3824 Lowry,MN 56349 Lowry,VA 24570 Oakley,IL 62552 Oakley,UT 84055 Oakley,SC 29466 Oakley,MI 48649 Oakley,ID 83346 Oakley,CA 94561 Oakley,KS 67748 Parsons,KS 67357 Parsons,TN 38363 Parsons,WV 26287 Patrick,SC 29584 Powell,MO 65730 Powell,OH 43065 Powell,TN 37849 Powell,TX 75153 Powell,WY 82435 Rand,CO 80473 Ray,MN 56669 Ray,ND 58855 Ray,OH 45672 Renner,SD 57055 Rose,NE 68772 Rose,NY 14542 Rose,OK 74364 Ryan,OK 73565 Ryan,IA 52330 Seman,AL 36073 Shannon,GA 30172 Shannon,NC 28386 Shannon,IL 61078 Shannon,AL 35142 Shannon,MS 38868 Smith,KY 40867 Smith,NV 89430 Stone,ID 83280 Stone,KY 41567 Terry,MT 59349 Terry,WV 25934 Terry,MS 39170 Thompson,IA 50478 Thompson,MO 65285 Thompson,ND 58278 Thompson,OH 44086 Thompson,PA 18465 Thompson,UT 84540 Thompson,CT 6277 Walker,MI 49504 Walker,NY 14566 Walker,WV 26180 Walker,MN 56484 Walker,KY 40997 Walker,KS 67674 Walker,IA 52352 Walker,MO 64790 Walker,LA 70785 Warren,NJ 7059 Warren,TX 77664 Warren,RI 2885 Warren,PA 16365 Warren,IL 61087 Warren,OR 97053 Warren,OH 44481 Warren,NH 3279 Warren,MI 48089 Warren,ME 4864 Warren,IN 46792 Warren,VT 5674 Warren,AR 71671 Warren,MA 1083 Wilson,AR 72395 Wilson,KS 67490 Wilson,LA 70789 Wilson,MI 49896 Wilson,NC 27893 Wilson,NY 14172 Wilson,OK 73463 Wilson,SC 29102 Wilson,TX 79381 Wilson,WI 54027 Wilson,WV 26768 Wilson,WY 83014 Wiseman,AR 72587 Wright,AR 72182 Wright,KS 67882 Wright,MN 55798 Wright,WY 82732 Yakima,WA 98901
Five Most Significant Accomplishments
Winter Camp's Impact on the Outside
- Winter Camp Universe
- Measurement System - Time Change
- Words of But One Part
- Opening the Door of Clearwater Cabin
- Service Projects
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