DAY ONE NEWS
Winter Camp XII - 1988
WINTER CAMP XII NEWS
WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 28, 1988
VOLUME 4 ISSUE 1
Tom Ray, Editor
Jeff Rand, Publisher
THE FIRST ARTICLE
I feel that the first article should be about something everybody laughed about. It concerned the six early comers up here on Monday. Namely Jeffrey Rand, Stephen Donohue John Howey, Douglas Wilson, Michael Osvath, and of course The Beast Ron Donohue. And this is how it happened.
It was four in the morning. The Beast and Ozzie (as he's also known as) where asleep and John, Steve, Jeff, and Doug where still up so they figured it would be funny if they set all the clocks ahead to 7 o'clock and wake up The Beast and Ozzie, and convince them it really was 7 O'clock.
It worked. They ate breakfast and when they finished The Beast went back to bed not realizing what was going on. Within 5 minutes he was asleep, and they switched the clocks back. When The Beast woke at 8 o'clock (real time) he thought he sleep only for an hour. He went believing this til lunch time when the truth was revealed by Steve.
THE SCOUT OF THE DAY
Before I announce the Scout of the day we here on the newspaper staff would like to dedicate this column to one of the most dedicated Scouts in the Downriver chapter:
who we have named the SCOUT OF THE YEAR.
And now for the SCOUT OF THE DAY:
why? We don't know
***AND WHOEVER PUT THE ENTIRE NEPALESE SCOUTING PROGRAM DON'T DO IT AGAIN***
Weather will be partly cloudy today with highs in the mid 20's. Winds will be northwest at 10-15 mph, bringing the wind chill factor near zero. Mostly clear and cold tonight with lows near 10. Clear and cool tomorrow with a high in the mid twenties. Cold tomorrow night with lows in the teens.
HIGH LOW YESTERDAY: 36 18 NORMALS: 33 19 RECORD: 62 -12 PRECIPITATION: 0.85 inch MONTH TOTAL: 1.91 inch YEAR TOTAL: 24.33 inch
WINTER CAMP TRIVIA
by Mark Bollman
Answers from December 30, 1987:
- Doug Seman, Scott Fults, Steve Donohue, and The Beast.
- Matt Mittino & Joe McEachren
- Winter Camp IV.
- Who became famous for the phrase "We got Tripoley!"?
- Who wore 35 paper clips in his left earlobe at Winter Camp IX?
- What was the most popular computer game at Winter Camp II?
Are you worried about the future for your Winter Camp heirs?
Talk to a representative of the RAND-DAHA INSURANCE AGENCY!
Low Low Rates on Winter Camp life and health insurance to all qualified Winter Campers regardless of IQ or waist size.
Candy bars! Soda Pop! Pay us a visit at the WINTER CAMP TRADING POST and satisfy your cravings. We have fast courteous service in an attractive atmosphere to serve you.
ASK THE BEAST
by Ron M. Donohue
DEAR MR. BEAST: Why are there always so many flies near equine/bovine animals?
DEAR ANIMAL LOVER: Much as Detroit has Joe Louis Arena and The Renaissance Center as designated convention centers for humans, farms have larger animals (ovines, bovines, equines) to act as fly convention centers.
DEAR BEAST: Could you please inform me why Northwestern University seems to be the pit of collegiate athletics. It has a reputation for academics, but we know how unimportant that truly is.
DEAR SEARCHING: How dare you make an accusation about a university with an N.C.A.A. finalist in field hockey. Get your facts straight before you write me again.
GADGET OF THE DAY
by Doug Wilson
Gadget: Any ingenious device or contrivance.
Winter Camp has had a rich history of gadget invention and usage. From Winter Camp II forward, we have utilized micro computers to provide entertainment and organization to Winter Camp. Over the years, numerous other gadgets have made their debut at Winter Camp. Many of these items have gone unnoticed. This column seeks to rectify that by showcasing some of the most outrageous gadgets currently in use.
Undoubtedly, the most unusual gadget is the latrine seat monitor installed at the Beaver Creek Latrine. This device, the brainchild of Messrs. Rand, Osvath, and Wilson, provides up to the minute data regarding latrine availability. In addition, it provides heat and light to the seats and atmosphere of the latrine. According to Mr. Wilson, future additions may include additional heating, digital timing, computer control of the latrine scoreboard, and toilet paper distribution.
Remember -- The possibilities are limited only by our imagination.
TIME CAPSULE UPDATE
The Winter Camp Time capsule was unearthed late Tuesday afternoon and placed in storage to allow for decontamination of the exterior. After a 22 hour quarantine period, the capsule was revealed to the public. Archaeologists John Howey and Jeff Rand had the capsule placed on a sterile work table. Also arrayed on the table were a variety of instruments, including a brush, two knives, and three different models of tongs.
In a 78 minute procedure, the two archaeologists revealed the contents of their latest dig. First, they cut away three layers of protective plastic, thus revealing the Homestyle Soup tub which formed the core of the capsule. As Mr. Howey removed the lid, the room was filled with strange odor of old plastic and decaying food.
The first object removed from the container was a letter stating the purpose and unearthing date of the capsule. After that, objects began to appear at a rapid rate. Next to appear was a plastic dart gun, followed by a semi-functional mini piano, a meat thermometer, a burglar alarm, insect repellent, a capture the objective card, a piece of cake (eaten first by Rand, then by most of the gallery), a piece of Osvath wire, a top, a strawberry huller, a puck, a Milon Battle Beast, the Howey Battle Beast (sans weapon), staples from last years service project, a cube tap, a yoyo, 2 issues of the Allogagan, some pine needles, a donut, a "bouncing" light bulb, a 4 square palace sign, a donut, and the battle beast's weapon. The last item removed could not be identified, but appeared to be a luggage tag.
Prior to the opening, pictures were taken to place in next year's and the long term capsule.
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