Winter Camp XIII - 1989


Mike Lowry, Editor
Jeff Rand, Publisher


  1. Where was the Rand Stew Stirrer acquired?
  2. How long had Lee Gardy been at WC XIII before going to bed?
  3. What was the first Winter Camp feature film?
  4. Who was accused of robbing his house while loading his car for Winter Camp?
Answers for 12/27/89
  1. 3/15
  2. Doug Ferencz, at the CAG Funeral Rock, with the Battle Beast.
  3. 52

by Mark Bollman


Action in the IAF Diplomacy tournament continued yesterday and eventually reached it's conclusion.

Italy and Germany, two of France's puppets, fell to the combined forces of the Eastern Bloc. France was driven back to it's own homeland, and England lost all but two supply centers.

With things at a virtual standstill, the time was ripe for a backstab. Russia, with superior field position, attacked and eliminated Turkey to collect the win.
by Steve Donohue


Over a dozen starving beggars arrived at Beaver Creek cabin with only one thing on their minds--food. Of course, they had a hard task ahead of them, as misers Rand, Horn, and Wilson controlled the food.

After a good deal of pleading, wheeling, and cajoling, most of the beggars found their appetites satisfied. A few however, were hungry for more.

These vicious beggars robbed and killed miser Rand. Funeral services were held yesterday, with only Rand's malnourished cat in attendance.
by Steve Donohue


Zan-Tec's game was a very interesting game of skill and strategy, which I found very amusing. There were three teams A, B, and C. All were struggling to fulfill a purpose and to stay alive, all at the same time. The game showed how people worked in a group and how that group worked with others through negotiation.

I thought the game was great, and I hope the Beast brings it back next year.
by Rick Greenwell


For many years we have had our own weather report appearing in the Winter Camp News; this year is no exception. This year Rodger Gardy has provided us with expanded and more accurate predictions thanks to some new equipment.

This years weather station has a wet/dry thermometer (for measuring humidity), a barometer (for atmospheric pressure measurements) and an instrument which many of you may have noticed along the road outside Clearwater an anemometer (wind speed monitor).

This device is driven by the wind passing over an impeller which was carved by "farmer" Jeff Rand in less than a day (private joke). The impeller is directly coupled to a permanent magnetic direct current motor (generator) which when rotated produces an induced current in the winding of the armature.

This is the same principle that is used by the utility companies (i.e.. Detroit Edison) to generate the electricity for our homes, etc. except they use larger generators which create AC and the generators are driven by steam turbines where the steam comes from burning coal, gas, oil or nuclear fission, solar or geothermal energy.

As an aside a small portion of power in the U.S. and elsewhere is generated by this exact process--the wind turning an impeller. The output of the generator goes to a volt meter mounted in the BC Building. As the voltage produced is directly proportional to the speed of the impeller and the rotation speed of the impeller is proportional to the wind speed it is now possible to monitor the wind speed by observing the voltmeter reading in BC. Once again Winter Camp Technology marches on.

*Remember. . . the possibilities are limited only by our imagination.
by Doug Wilson


In a cloud of dust, the Winter Campers demolished two walk-in coolers and a walk-in freezer at the main lodge of D-A. 18 people worked over 90 man-hours to remove the material from the building. Much of the wood was burned, but some was saved for re-use by the rangers and the Winter Campers. Some of this wood was later used for the counter in BC Cabin. Some wood is still available for other Winter Camp projects.

Brute force and a few tools brought the walls down. The Beast lead the way and the rest of us cleaned up the debris. We filled several trucks and burned a large pile of wood.

Special thanks to all participants. This project was very successful. The area was completely cleared to make room for the new dish washing area.
by Mike Osvath


Dear Mr. Beast,
Mike Osvath is so great I wish to know is he truly infallible?
Worshiper of Ozzie

Dear Worshiper of Ozzie,
Sure he's infallible, that's why his engine is on the dining room table and his computer is in a coffin.

Dear Mr. Beast,
I've noticed that no one ever gets up on time at WC. Why is this and how do we correct it?
Early Bird

Dear Early Bird,
What's the point? Correct it by sleeping in like the rest of us.


The paper airplane contest was a success. Everyone participated in this extra-ordinary event. The first place winner was Jeff Rand. His airplane caught a wind that was 101 kilometers per hour and no one has seen it since. Some say that it may stop at China. Others say it's going to go around the world. He had it all figured out when the wind was going to come. His partner was Lee Gardy and he was the one who did everything.

The second place winner was Ozzie. He threw it and it bounced off 75 different things before it hit the ground. There were reports of him putting some wires and a device in the plane that is controlled by remote control. The investigation proved that Ozzie was innocent because it was struck by lighting when it hit the ground. The third place winner was Brian Bumgardner. Last, but not least, Tom Ray came in last place and he threw it, and it caught a wind that sent the airplane back.

The distances were:

Contestant Distance
Jeff Rand: ?
Mike Osvath: 200' 7"
Brian Bumgardner: 100' 5"
Tom Ray: -100' 7"

The first place winner was awarded 2000 pesos. The second place winner was awarded a coupon to WC I for free. The third place winner was awarded WC IV used toilet paper and for the extraordinary effort of the last place loser, we gave him the official Dave Milon Coke Bottle.

For the rest of the participants, you did a fine job. I am look forward to this event next year.

The title of this story is really what happened. I think we should kill the person responsible for this. There is a reward for this reward for this man, one pound of official Jeremy Ikerd Broken Glass.
by Jeremy Ikerd


Sometime in the dark and dead of the night, our king, Tom Ray, disappeared. Rumors of foul play and treason were spreading as quickly as wild fire.

To avoid civil war and anarchy the Prince of Winter Camp, Jeremy Ikerd, declared himself the new King.

We only hope and pray that our new is more authoritative than the old king!

by Steve Donohue


Sloth has struck Winter Camp XIII again this year. After staying up half the night examining the time capsule, the citizens of Winter Camp found themselves victimized by a curious malaise.

The net result was that cabin cleaning was substituted for Goofy Golf. Better luck next year Golf Fans!
by Steve Donohue


The 1989 Capture the Objective game proved to be extremely competitive with both teams exhibiting strong offense. Deep snow made progress and camouflage very difficult. Early in the game Rick Greenwell succeeded in grabbing the Highland objective. However, he was immediately stopped by defenders Geoff Brown and Ron Donohue. Meanwhile, Cow Camp defender Steve Donohue could be heard screaming for help as he was besieged by the Highland offense. In the final minutes of the game, the Cow Camp team attacked with John Howey, Brian Bumgardner and Roger Horn. Finally, the Highland objective was taken by Highland defender Brian Bumgardner, who was actually a spy for the Cow Camp team. The steal was later ruled invalid, since Brian was tagged as he entered camp.

Cow Camp defender Doug Wilson proved to be a merciless competitor. Having found an enemy player, Jeff Rand, face down in the snow, he quickly made the tag. The game ended in the usual 0-0 tie but a good time was had by all.
by Roger Horn


NORMAL 31 18
Precipitation: 7.2 cm (2.8 in.)
Total Precipitation: 11.2 cm (4.4 in.)
Record Precipitation: 2.8 in.

FORECAST FOR 12/30/89:

Skies remain cloudy. Slight chance of snow showers or freezing rain. High in the low 30's.


Rain late in the day; high in the low to mid 30's.
by R. Lee Gardy


Results (50 points max--5 responses)

1. 36 pt. WC I Rail Road Hike
2. 33 pt. WC III 100 Course Banquet
3. 21 pt. WC II Achatz Cake Walk
4. 16 pt. WC XII Ranger Alarm
5. 15 pt. WC I "Mouse" (tree branch) up Ron Donohue's pant leg
6. 14 pt. WC V 7 Bro. Banquet
6. 14 pt. WC I 3rd Bunk
7. 10 pt. WC III Wilson Baked Alaska
8. 9 pt. WC III Simms no Electricity in Latrine
9. 8 pt. WC III Perez Falls Through Ice Where Animals Drink
9. 8 pt. WC XII 50 States Banquet
9. 8 pt. WC V Little Ozzies Pizza
9. 8 pt. WC VII Steve Donohue Murder of Keith Kuzala
10. 7 pt. WC I Doug Wilson Drinks Rat Water
10. 7 pt. WC VIII Kick Ball With Mr. Stone And Rain

Honorable mention Mr. Stone and Cayenne Pepper

Ask any Veteran Winter Camper for details.

Today's Question--List the 10 events you would like to see at Winter Camp XIV.
by Doug Wilson

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