Winter Camp X - 1986


Jeff Rand, Publisher


The first ever Winter Camp Hobby Demo took place this year and was a mild success. Less than half of the hobbies selected in the previous year had been completed and a few people had substituted alternate hobbies for the original selection.

Outstanding displays were presented by Josh Caldwell, Dave Woods, and several old men. The most interesting complete hobby was Mark Bollman's novel, Channel 120, which drew mixed reviews but wide popular appeal.


After declining Jeff Rand's offer to wager one dollar that he couldn't go a year without soda pop because it would be too easy, Steve Donohue has undertaken a much more difficult challenge. Donohue, believed to be the second heaviest human to attend Winter Camp has bet Rand that he will lose exactly 25 pounds by Winter XVIII. For every pound more, he will receive one British pound and for every pound less than 25 that he loses he'll owe Rand a pound.

Donohue weighed in after spending a week recovering from his bizarre illness. His starting weight, an earth-shattering 368 pounds, which means he'll get a pound for weight less than 343 pounds and pay for every pound over that.


Mark Bollman's self-published novel Channel 120 makes for some interesting light reading. The novel includes the names, but not the personages, of every person who attended Winter Camp XVI. Some of the changes are whimsical and amusing, such as Jeff Rand being an insurance agent (doubtless compliments of his failed Winter Camp insurance company, Rand, Daha, & Associates) and Ron Donohue as mayor of Lapeer.

The story takes place in the late 90's following the passage of the Moral Reform Act (originally depicted in "The Last Ceremony", a two act play by Jeff Rand). Lapeer is beginning its own cable television station, Winter Camp has been forced underground, and English Major Lee Gardy is fomenting rebellion.

The tale is difficult to follow in places, as there are a lot of plot elements, some of which are only tenuously connected to the main plot. The other difficulty lies in the use of famed Winter Campers' names for most of the characters in the book; it creates an odd juxtaposition here and there as the novel's Jeff Rand has never heard of Winter Camp.

The book ends with a surprise twist, and is doubtless the finest work of fiction (other than some of the histories) ever published about Winter Camp.

** Rating: PG (sexual situations)


In order to prove his rightful status as the king of play, Steve Donohue has been challenged to come up with a different board game for each day of camp. If he succeeds, then campers can look forward to the Game du Jour as the best new event of Winter Camp XVIII.


The Curse of Sevens has felled another Winter Camp adviser. Mike Osvath fell ill at Winter Camp VII from drinking too much beef fizz, and Steve Donohue became ill at Winter Camp XVII as well. The cause of Donohue's illness is unknown, but several of his symptoms were preserved in the time capsule for next year.


In contrast to the previous Winter Camp, conditions were more appropriate for the season. Temperatures generally hovered in the teens, averaging 12 degrees cooler than normal for the high and 15 degrees below the Winter Camp normal low. Precipitation, although scant, came entirely as snow. Snow flurries were present on each day of the encampment, but the only appreciable amount was recorded during a pleasant storm of 2.5 inches on December 29.

Daily weather data is given below:

Date High Low Snow 12/27/93 15 -2 0.1 12/28/93 17 -2 0.1 12/29/93 24 4 2.5 12/30/93 17 5 T 12/31/93 28 17 T


by Mark Bollman

Questions and answers from last year:

  1. Who scored the first goal in Tabletop Soccer?
    Aaron Prunkard
  2. What unusual item did Aaron Prunkard order on his pizza?
    Nerds candy
  3. Who played the monster during the Torchlight Parade?
    John Howey
  4. Who paid an extra $2.02 for camp to validate his Winter Camp XV prediction?
    Ron Donohue
  5. Who struck it rich at Winter Camp IV's Casino Night and lit his victory "cigarette" with a burning $5,000,000 bill?
    Robert Stone, Sr.
  6. At which Winter Camp did the security staff sport departmental T-shirts?
  7. Where does the Winter Camp food shopping crew traditionally eat lunch?
  8. Who is shown eating the Brotherhood Lunch in the Winter Camp promotional video?
    Ron & Steve Donohue

And now ... new questions to ponder:

  1. From which latrine did Tom Ray cut off a piece during the WC XVII service project?
  2. At which Winter Camp XVII meal were table assignments made by weight?
  3. Who killed Mark Bollman during Murder Clue at WC XVII?
  4. What method was used to select the security officer for WC XVII?
  5. What was the first Winter Camp where two cabins were used?
  6. Who serves as secretary of the Winter Camp Future Society?
  7. Whose quest not to sleep at WC XVII ended after only 1 1/2 days?
  8. Which subatomic particle is the basis for the Universal Measurement System?


by Mark Bollman

In the continuing effort to extend Winter Camp beyond the 5-day weekette at the end of the calendar year, the 1994 hobby draw was held on December 29. Each Winter Camper proposed three hobbies to the group, which then chose one for him to pursue throughout the new year.

Results of the balloting were:

Brian Mann Time capsule building
Dave Radecki Hat collecting
Joe Hall Weightlifting
Jeremy Ikerd Recreational ice hockey
Josh Caldwell Small woodworking
Lou Pezet Model railroading
Eric Rohloff Weightlifting
Steve Donohue Theatrical fencing
Ron Donohue Wood turning
Jeff Rand Calligraphy
Doug Wilson Glass blowing (light bulb)
Mark Bollman Collect chemical elements
John Howey Japanese
Dave Woods Mechanical engineering
Tim Hunt Woodworking
Tom Ray Poetry writing (at least 12)
Mark Hunt Jello mold collecting (>=10)
Dan Hammon Guitar playing
Adam Pezet Model boat building
Joe Cipponeri Ice skating
Roger Horn Photography


by David Radecki

Ahhhhh! Who did it? When? Where? And with What? That's what you have to find out in Murder Clue designed by Mark Bollman. This game was fun down to the last second.

This is game you play in the dark, read the clues, and solve the mystery. We had two teams to figure out the mystery. The first group to get up to a site got to take the K (killer) card and the second team to the site got the L (location) and W (weapon) cards.

This year it was a close victory. First we thought team 2 had won, but then team 1 found out the killer and won.

After it was all done, it ended up that Lou Pezet killed Mark Bollman with the Phaser at Highland.


by Joe Cipponeri

We both picked teams. I was a young prey in the nest along with Steve Donohue and Jeremy Ikerd. We were in the nest about two minutes after our head start, then Eric caught us. But all in all it was fun.


by Dan Hammon

It was a grueling match between teams Stick Senior and Stick Junior, named after their captains. As usual, there were more injuries occurred than goals scored. Some of these injuries included Tim Hunt's dive for a rock and Adam "Pockets" Pezet's swan dive into the snow.

The stars of the event were Joe "Stick" Cipponeri and Adam. Team Stick Jr. did only have three attempts at the goal, but they had a tough fight defensively. Because of the strong offense of Team Stick Sr. they had more than thirty attempts at the goal and because of the vicious defense of Brian Mann they were only allowed one goal.


by Eric "The Box" Rohloff

It was at the end of the week, aggressions were at their highest point, people wanted revenge after snow soccer, and Dave was pissing people off with a cracker flinger. -- It was time to go to the battle square!

The teams were Troops 1373 and 1058 vs Troop 842 and the odd balls. There were many great battles, but the best battle was Jeremy "the strongest player in the league", weighing 245 pounds versus Eric "the box", weighing 103 pounds. It started with Jeremy low to the ground. At that moment Box knew what Jeremy was going to do. One, two, three, battle! As it began, Jeremy lunged at Eric's thighs. Eric jumped over the massive back and sprawled. When the cloud of snow settled, it was obvious that Jeremy stepped out first.


by Jeremy Ikerd

The time capsule proved to have many remarkable discoveries. Those few who witnessed the opening were able to eat a piece of the official Boy Scout Nutrition bar. The most valuable thing in the capsule was $40.00 in quantas, which was divided up evenly among the openers. After securing the necromogon (book of the dead), there was an attempt to raise some dead. A zombie appeared and escaped from capture. It is roaming loose around D-A. The book of the dead was reburied so that next year the Zombie could be laid to rest. Everything else was of little or no importance.

Everyone should be looking forward to opening next year's time capsule because there will be plenty of sausage and money. $300 plus a J.R.I. bankcard (which is broken) are in the time capsule. Hopefully no one will loot the money because Winter Camp may need it. The most experimental piece put in the time capsule was a couple of chunks of Steve Donohue's puke. This is an example of how far Winter Campers will go to perform an intricate experiment.


by Steve Donohue

Have you ever asked yourself why we play kickball at Winter Camp? After all, there are a dozen other games that would be more popular -- baseball, football, softball, etc. Why kickball then? After all, it's not a "manly" pursuit; it's not even a childhood favorite; when you get right down to it, it's just a poor substitute for baseball.

Kickball, though, returns year after year, and there has to be a reason why. Believe it or not, you have to go back about ten years to find out why we keep trying. Way back there somewhere, we played an impromptu kickball game.

The weather wasn't exactly right, since we had about six inches of snow and ice melting beneath a steady drizzle. The temperature was in the 40's and it really should have been a miserable experience for all of us.

It wasn't though; it was magic. The kind of magic that makes you forget about school, work, or what's for dinner later. The kind of magic that lets everyone kick back and have fun. I don't remember the score of the game, or even if we kept score. I do remember sliding face first through three inches of water. I remember everyone else laughing and cheering, players on both sides, glad to see someone having wild, true fun. I wasn't the first to make that slide, nor the last, but I'll always remember it, and I'll bet the rest of the people there remember their own slides, their own magic. For that brief time, Winter Camp, and all campers, achieved the greatness all recreation seeks.

Why do we play kickball? Because we're greedy. Ten years ago, it left us with that good, wonderful, magical feeling, and we hope to have it again. We want it badly, but we can't seem to find it. Those feelings can't be planned; they can't be scheduled. They have to happen naturally.

What's the point of all this you're asking? We have to stop worrying about who's winning, who's losing, who's good, and who's bad. Put yourself in the shoes of the last player picked in this year's game, as he was jeered even before the game began. How can you ever get that magic if you start with that attitude? Everyone has to feel wanted and needed, or it just won't happen.

They used to say "It's not winning or losing; it's how you play the game." Now they say "Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing." Well, it's not. If the only reason you play is to beat the other guy, then you're sure to be disappointed. Better to enjoy the game, enjoy the challenge, and not really care who wins at the end; otherwise even the best times during the game will be overshadowed by a loss at the end. If you ask me, its better to have a good time losing, than not at all.


by Jeremy Ikerd

With Ozzie's head chef, Mark Bollman, overseeing that Ozzie's pizza is run with the same delicacy as Ozzie would, Little Ozzie's Pizza was a success.

There was some competition though. On Thursday, December 30, 1993, led by Doug Wilson, a new pizza corporation emerged and seems to be threatening to takeover the spot to serve pizza at Winter Camp.

Is Ozzie's Pizza going to get run out of business? Will Doug Wilson be back next year? Will Mark Bollman proceed with plans to steal Little Ozzie's recipe and open Bollmano's Pizza? This is just one example of how corporations can get put out of Winter Camp if the owner does not attend. As for takeovers, we will see next year.


Concurrent with the chess tournament, and paper airplane contest, a third contest challenged the skills of Winter Camp artists. The Design an Alien Contest provided this artistic opportunity in keeping with the Winter Camp theme.

A panel of distinguished experts, which may have included Jeffrey Hunter, Charlton Heston, and Mark Hamill, has selected winners in two categories.

The winner in the category for Best Artistic Representation Figure (BARF) was Rayjakvek designed by Josh Caldwell. Rayjakvek belongs to the Norgi Tribe on the home world of Selica. Its species is zyxomma and the diet consists of carbon based proteins and photsynthesis. It reproduces asexually.

Rayjakvek, itself, has brown eyes, blue hair, brown, leathery skin, and five appendages (2 arms and three legs). Its starfleet career began 177493.4 and graduation from the academy was 177546.2. Its first assignment was 177547.5 to the U.S.S Gantres. It has the rank of ensign 2nd class, with specialties in botany, virology, and zoology. Its superior officer is Lt. Smith.

The winner in the category of Hugely Unusual Realistic Likeness (HURL) was the Xeno Phage designed by David Woods. The Xeno Phage is the only physical body left by a completely evolved hyper intelligent race. Little is known about the culture or origin. But, it is suspected that the intelligent half of the X-Phage resides somewhere in the N'th dimension.

The corporal Xeno Phage is highly contagious, contractible through air, water, or contact with skin. As of yet, there is no known cure to the Xeno Phage. But, there is there still isn't any cure for herpes either.


by Jeff Rand

Twenty Arrowmen attended Winter Camp XVII, making it one of the smallest groups in recent years. To date 113 different people have been identified in the Winter Camp Universe. Of course, most of them, 93 in all, were not seen this year. The total number of Winter Camper Winter Camps is 364, which indicates an average attendance of 21.4.

Most notable this year was the absence of Michael Jon Osvath. This reduces the ranks of the unblemished pioneers to three, Steve Donohue, Jeff Rand, and Doug Wilson. Mike joins Mark Bollman and Ron Donohue who have each attended 16 camps.

No one has attended all 66 nights of Winter Camp. Regretfully, even the most dedicated Winter Campers have had conflicts with their employment. Current standings for nights attended (not including precamp nights) are as follows:

1. Steve Donohue 64 7. John Howey 44
2. Jeff Rand 63 8. Brad Eakin 30
3. Ron Donohue 61 9. Lou Pezet 28
4. Doug Wilson 58 Dan Bollman 28
Mike Osvath 58 11. Roger Horn 27
6. Mark Bollman 56 Steve Pejuan 27

If Lou Pezet attends Winter Camp XVIII he will be the first youth to attend eight Winter Camps. Currently four others have attended seven as a youth, Dan Bollman, Mark Bollman, Steve Donohue, and Ron Donohue.

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