DAY THREE NEWS
Winter Camp X - 1986
WINTER CAMP X NEWS
TUESDAY, DECEMBER 30, 1986
VOLUME 2 ISSUE 3
Lee Gardy, Editor
Jeff Rand, Publisher
HARPER WANTS NAME IN PAPER
Winter Camp glutton William Louis Harper, Junior, who has recently learned how to speak and even read one syllable words, has requested his name appear in the newspaper. Here it be so he can take home to mom for help to read.
LIFELESS MURDER GAME ENDS
After 48 hours of Paranoia, the annual Murder Game concluded. So not glorify the criminal element the editors have chosen not to publish the name of the murderer of Edward Rose and Lyle GQ Millard. Suffice it to say the murderer was executed without trial and is expected to be a current resident of Gehenna.
There were three attempts to extinguish the life of Mark Bollman during the game. The last attempt involving a lead ball pendulum has left Mark dead from the neck up. The attempted assassin has fled the state of Winter Camp and is believed to have barricaded himself near Utica.
CAPTURE THE OBJECTIVE ARGUMENT
As usual argument became the chief product of the Capture the Objective Game. The key argument erupted between Steve Donohue and Doug Seman as to which one was the spy for the enemy team. Actual spy, Lee Gardy and most of the rest of the team watched the argument for much of the game.
Neither spy was discovered, but cautious teammates prevented them from effecting removal of the objective.
Rosebuds 15 runs Duran Durans 7 runs
MORE VISITORS INVADE CAMP
Last night's activities brought two more guests to camp. Paul Duran and James Hunt, both residents of the prospective Downriver ghetto of Lincoln Park made their appearance shortly before the genius trivia contest. Both stayed the night and enjoyed the kickball game.
Weather will be mostly cloudy today with highs in the low 30's. Mostly cloudy and cool tonight with lows in the upper 20's. Cloudy and flurries tomorrow with highs in the thirties.
HIGH LOW YESTERDAY 37 29 NORMALS: 32 19 RECORD: 60 -10 PRECIPITATION: None MONTH TOTAL: 2.32 inch YEAR TOTAL: 37.28 inch
Winter Camp participants once again ate in excess yesterday as 4606 calories of food energy were offered.
The Oatley Breakfast provided the usual nutritions, low sugar foods served in the tradition of a Troop 842 meal. Remarkably the consumption of the traditional bland Oatmeal was up, much to the credit of Oatley assistant, Douglas Ronald Wilson.
The Competition Lunch was more a competition for fresh air than food, as the smelly Arrowmen had just returned late from a service project. Chef Roger Dale Horn prepared a pleasant array of sandwich fixings for this family style luncheon.
Model cavewretch Michael Osvath was noticeably docile during the Caveman Dinner. However, two new cavewretches were newly discovered to have the appropriate cranial activity to fill the void. Bill Harper and Beef Kuhn achieved this distinction.
Four varieties of famous Wilson pies were served during the more subdued environment of the pie snack. Consumers were provided with forks to eat these delicious pies.
ASK THE BEAST
As a new addition the Winter Camp News, the Ask the Beast column will offer the latest tidbits of witty advice from Winter Camp's very own "Ann Landers."
DEAR MR. BEAST: My house is infested with CAGS. How do I get rid of the vermin?
- Dave O., Detroit
BEAST: Blow it up with a Radtke Ground Flame.
DEAR MR. BEAST: What should you do with a CAG after you run it over?
BEAST: Back up to be sure you got it good.
SAYING FOR THE DAY
The Order of Arrow is a thing of the spirit rather than mechanics - Lodge Procedures.
Note: The Lodge Procedures involve excessively wordy documents of pure function without aesthetics.
WINTER CAMP TRIVIA QUIZ
- What meal at Winter Camp Six featured shrimp, fish, squid, scallops, and pies?
- How many jiffies passed during the scheduled period of Winter Camp II?
- What guest at Winter Camp X served as maintenance director during Winter Camp Six?
- What was voted to be the most popular event of Winter Camp VIII? What was the least?
- What feast boasted foods ranging from CHR$(65) to CHR$(90)?
NEWSPAPER CONTRACT DISPUTE
The Winter Camp News staff has talked of resuming a strike. If no contract is reached by 3:00 PM. tomorrow, workers plan to walk the picket line.
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